During lockdown, my brother has made a series of drawings that I have been inspired to write short fiction pieces from. I will be posting them, and the corresponding writing here over the next few weeks.
Matt writes about the drawings:
” I don’t give them titles very often, I usually just date them sort of like a journal of that particular day. I suppose all I can say is that drawing makes me feel better so I use it as a therapy. It has helped me through some difficult times and the more I put in to a drawing the more it seems to give back to me which is amazing to me still. It helps me maintain some balance in my life.”
Lockdown Drawing #4 by Matt Lee.
Everything is Precarious by Sarah Featherstone
The path is narrow, but the ring is narrower.
Let the breath carry you. Feel every single bone and sinew in your foot as it finds its place, step after step after step.
If you do this, if you do not fall, you will be free.
I don’t know if I believe this. Sometimes the voice in my head is independent of me. The good thing is that it doesn’t matter now because I’m here, on this precarious ledge above the abyss. I can feel my heart hammering against my chest, and I can feel the fear like mercury in my veins.
I need to complete the circle today, when the sun is at its highest point. I know I still have hours before darkness descends, but I am paralysed, unable to go forward, unable to go back.
It is cold, and there is a smell like stagnant water. I don’t know what is below me, because I dare not look down. There is a single shaft of light from above illuminating the wall to my right. I keep my eyes focused on it. You could measure time by it’s slow trajectory.
I try not to think, but thoughts come. No one knows I am here. I am completely alone. That’s how it is, but it makes me sad. No one should have to be alone.
If I could only take one step…But the truth is, I’m wavering inside. Forwards or back? Neither appeals anymore. I’m tired. So I will go on standing here, just breathing, because that is all I can do.
I must have closed my eyes because when I open them, I’m enclosed in golden light. Warmth floods through me like an infusion of joy. For a moment there is nothing but now, nothing but me and the light.
I raise up my arms.
I step forwards.